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next to nothing
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Post by next to nothing »

Ok, this one probarly has circulated for a long time, but i find it funny so i'll post it here as well.

"
1.0:

Also known as "one point uh-oh", or "barely out of beta" . We had to release because the lab guys had reached a point of exhaustion and the marketing guys were in a cold sweat of terror. We're praying that you'll find it more functional than, say, a computer virus and that its operation has some resemblance to that specified in the marketing copy.

1.1:

We fixed all the killer bugs ...

1.2:

Uh, we introduced a few new bugs fixing the killer bugs and so we had to fix them, too.

2.0:

We did the product we really wanted to do to begin with. Mind you, it's really not what the customer needs yet, but we're working on it.

2.1:

Well, not surprisingly, we broke some things in making major changes so we had to fix them. But we did a really good job of testing this time, so we don't think we introduced any new bugs while we were fixing these bugs.

2.2:

Uh, sorry, one slipped through. One lousy typo error and you won't believe how much trouble it caused!

2.3:

Some jerk found a deep-seated bug that's been there since 1.0 and wouldn't stop nagging until we fixed it!!

3.0:

Hey, we finally think we've got it right!

Most of the customers are really happy with this.

3.1:

Of course, we did break a few little things.

4.0:

More features. It's doubled in size now, by the way, and you'll need to get more memory and a faster processor ...

4.1:

Just one or two bugs this time... Honest!

5.0:

We really need to go on to a new product, but we have an installed base out there to protect. We're cutting the staffing after this.

6.0:

We had to fix a few things we broke in 5.0. Not very many, but it's been so long since we looked at this thing we might as well call it a major upgrade. Oh, yeah, we added a few flashy cosmetic features so we could justify

the major upgrade number.

6.1:

Since I'm leaving the company and I'm the last guy left in the lab who works on the product, I wanted to make sure that all the changes I've made are incorporated before I go. I added some cute demos, too, since I was getting pretty bored back here in my dark little corner (I kept complaining about the lighting but they wouldn't do anything). They're talking about obsolescence planning but they'll try to keep selling it for as long as there's a buck or two to be made. I'm leaving the bits in as good a shape as I can in case somebody has to tweak them, but it'll be sheer luck if no one loses them.
"



(and hey, some of these points reminds me od scope as well :wink: , this is not a rant tho.)

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: piddi on 2004-10-25 22:38 ]</font>
blazesboylan
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Post by blazesboylan »

:lol:

The only thing I would add is an appendix for the open source world:

version 0.1.0: A bunch of college students have decided it would be cool to re-program the universe in Java. They release a few notes about their plans to Java-ize the universe.

version 0.2.0: Most of the college students have graduated or died, but one visionary keeps the dream alive, moving the project into SourceForge.net. Version 0.2.0 is pretty much the same as version 0.1.0, except that the website has an inordinate number of status updates reporting on his recent breakup with his girlfriend of 1 week and the lump in his ankle which he thinks might be a tumour.

version 0.3.0: Someone in France has decided that the project is worthwhile, socialism at its best, and takes it over from the visionary college student. He releases a Java source code version of the universe which poorly emulates the Big Bang.

version 0.4.0: Mozilla.org's ears perk up.

version 0.5.0: Sun's ears perk up.

version 0.6.0: The program compiles for the first time ever, on any operating system.

version 0.7.0: The software is released by either Sun or Mozilla.org, with no documentation, and developers who are too surly to answer any questions or fix any bugs.

version 0.8.0: Sun and Mozilla.org advise you not to use this particular version of the software. A security leak has been found which deletes all the files on your system every time you run it.

Meanwhile IBM writes a glowing review of this version of the software and emails everyone in its massive spam list about how great it is.

version 0.9.0: The software is so buggy that noone will ever use it. But it's the universe re-programmed in Java!!! So everyone drools over it. Slashdot runs regular interviews with the developers.

version 1.0.0: this milestone has never yet been achieved by open source software.
marcuspocus
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Post by marcuspocus »

Your a bit harsh blazesboylan... :smile:

Opensource has some really great programs!

Well, has 'some', in a sea of millions of shitty line of code... But hey, they still have some lines from times to times which is cool :smile:
Counterparts
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Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2003 4:00 pm
Location: Bath, England

Post by Counterparts »

That's excellent! :smile:

Case in point - Steinberg!

Has anybody been following the centre-of-the-sun-temperature flame wars on the Cubase forums (i.e. Cubase users flaming Steinberg)?

Can't say I'm very impressed myself. I recently spent about £70 (about 100 euro) on upgrading Cubase SL1 to SL2. First BUG I notice within about a minute of running the program is that the track activity meter for an audio track only (always!) shows activity for the left channel of the bus (even though it's a mono track with the right channel of an ASIO bus routed to it).

The major complaint on the Cubase forums was that the audio channel insert effects were post fader! Unbelieveable. So, they fixed it...for SX2 users, that is. For us lowly SL2 users, the upgrade did not fix this BUG. More extreme heat followed, and Steinberg have now finally issued a 'pre-release' upgrade to address this issue.

There are also quite a few other problems with SL2 ... if I could afford it, I would switch both application and platform and fire up Logic on a Mac (not likely to happen for some time, however).

Royston
blazesboylan
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Post by blazesboylan »

On 2004-10-26 02:30, marcuspocus wrote:
Opensource has some really great programs!

Well, has 'some', in a sea of millions of shitty line of code...

:grin:

The biggest problem in the open source world, IMHO, is the lack of innovation. Who needs another friggin' GUI library or word processor?!? Why can't we move on to thinking up new ways of automating our world?

The worst lines of code are still the ones in commercial software. (See Royston's post above. :wink:)
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